Barack of Love

Happy Election Day! If you haven't already... go vote bitches!

sweet tooth

I am becoming quite domestic as of late, scary stuff. Anyhow, I have been having a really bad sweet tooth. I could always reach for the Coconut Bliss ice cream, but I was feeling the need to experiment and create. I ended up concocting an almond cake with olive oil and an Asian pear topping with drizzled "caramel". Here's the recipe for anyone who is interested. Not too shabby for my first attempt at vegan cake.

Almond Cake with Olive Oil

*3 cups whole wheat flour
*1/3 cup olive oil
*1 cup vanilla rice milk
*1 T baking powder
*3/4 t salt
* 1 t almond extract
* 1 T vanilla extract
*1 & 1/3 cup unbleached cane sugar

Blend ingredients together in a bowl, pour into a greased 9x9 pan, and bake for 22-25 minutes at 350. To make the carmel drizzle, heat 1/4 cup vegan margarine, 2 T brown sugar, and 1/4 cup real maple syrup on low until the sugar melts completely and then bring to boil for one minute , then remove from heat. Enjoy!

Make new friends, and recycle the old...

In regards to i-pods of course! My nano died today. I am devastated. Before I go procure a new one, I would like to take a moment and give thanks to all that my nannner has done for me. It kept me company on my bike rides, it motivated me on runs and at the gym, it allowed me to sing along in the shower, it helped me cope with my emotions and times of heartache with emo tunes, it enabled me to ignore annoyances while on public transit... so thank you Crimson, for all the good times.

Update as of 11-03-2008: I have already acquired a new i-pod. I know, it seems too quick to move on, but my new nano and I are fast friends. He matches my Puegot almost perfectly. A nice little perk for those of you in the market: if you bring in your old i-pod to be recycled, the apple store will give you a 10% discount on your new one.

All'a that

Oh yes, this post is dedicated to all my fellow bootylicious gals.

My evening started out nicely with a relaxing couple hours of arts and crafts. Then my pal Crystal called and we dilly dallied around town until ending up at a local pub. Crystal and I were up at the bar, sharing the weeks nursing horror stories and generally minding our own business. Out of nowhere, there is this unfamiliar voice in my ear asking if I'm really a nurse. I turn to find a gangster type inches away from my face. "That depends" I reply "Are you having some sort of emergency that requires medical attention?" Said thug, shakes his head no, laughing. "Well then, yes, I am a nurse." I didn't even care to ask what prompted such a question, I don't encourage eaves dropping by strange men. That, however, didn't matter. The interaction continued to my great dismay. "Daaaammn girl," accompanied by some serious elevator eyes "how do you fit all'a that into your nurses uniform?"

What!?! Tears started welling up, and I proceeded to inform this stranger that nurses wear scrubs, scrubs that go up to size morbidly obese. The tears were now streaming, "as a matter of fact, I could fit my entire body into the leg of some of the scrubs bottoms stocked on the unit." He started back tracking, shaking his head violently "No, no, no, no, that is a compliment woman!" said the gangster. I stared at him blankly. How the hell any woman takes a man doubting her ability to fit into any outfit (especially scrubs) as a compliment, is truly beyond my comprehension.

In spirit of having a J-Lo ass, I am making "All'a that Soup" for dinner. It mostly consists of vegetable broth, navy beans, veggies galore, and a wee bit of vegan sausage. Clearly I need to lose a few pounds of my "juice" as my friend Brian lovingly calls it, and hopefully this soup will ward off further inquiries as to how I get "all'a that" squeezed into my work attire. I leave you with the pictures detailing my soup creation, as I am headed out for a run with Abe.

Going vegan for a month...

I have decided that tomorrow starts a month of eating a vegan diet. Absurd you say? What the hell is an Andina, Toro Bravo and cheese addict thinking switching to a vegan diet? I know, I know... I have my doubts as well, I'm only making a claim to TRY it, so calm down. Not that I am not making a whole-hearted effort here, because I absolutely am. In all honesty, I am hoping to make this a permanent lifestyle for health purposes, but I need to see the impact it will have on my diabetes before I commit. Tim's fabulous gourmet food pictures do not give me much faith of leaving it all behind, but here goes. Oh, Mom, I know when you read this you are going to begin a tailspin of worry. Stop. I have the go-ahead from my NP, and according to a study in a British nutrition journal, vegans have lower blood pressure, lower blood triglyceride levels, and lower fasting blood glucose levels related to the glycemic index of many staples in the diet as well as increased pancreatic beta-cell function. And, they live 15 years longer than meat-eaters. And, yes, I am still coming home for Thanksgiving.
Speaking of tailspins of worry, I'm a little anxious parting ways with egg whites. My two main diet staples of MorningStar sausage patties and Quorn chicken patties both include egg whites in their list of ingredients. That is unfortunate. You know what else is unfortunate? Meats; fish; dairy; unorganic veggies, fruits and legumes; even my beloved egg whites have traces of BHC, chlordane, dieldrin, heptachlor, and dioxin. All of these ingredients are pesticides that happen to be anywhere from 4-83 times more carcinogic than DDT- which was banned in the early 70's by the EPA. In other words, eating these things are not good for warding off cancer. My Physiology professor, Dr. Keyes, gave us all sorts of items to put on our list of things to avoid in life. I've tried hard to stick to the list, and cancer was in the top five. I have already had it once, so I'm going to try my best to keep it away.

I adore the taste of feta, gogonzola, brie, gouda. I'm also quite keen on cottage cheese and greek yogurt. Not so good news for this dairy loving gal: dairy products have been linked to acne, anemia, anxiety, arthritis, ADD/ADHD, breast cancer, Crohn's, diabetes, fibromyalgia, headaches, heart disease, IBS, obesity, osteoperosis, ovarian cancer, poor digestion, poor immunity, and prostate cancer. Who knows how much of this is founded by legitimate scientific research, but I can't knock it until I try it right?

Below is a spread of groceries I purchased to begin my journey. Any brilliant recipes or words of vegan wisdom would be appreciated if you feel the need. I will try to post ones that I fall in love with as I stumble upon them. Well, wish me luck (or call me names and doubt my fortitude if you want, really). Either way I will keep those who care updated. On that note, I am going to Nicholas to enjoy a vegan meza platter with my pal Crystal. Cheers!

Stepping up to the future

I guess I don't have a lot to say, so this is more of an update on my previous declaration of bucking up. Many of my posts have been rather depressing, so I would like to dedicate this post to the things I am excited about and the positive experiences I have had recently.



I decided to finally give in to Portland's bike culture. I am not sure what my aversion was in the first place, but that is neither here nor there. I perused craigslist for quite a while, and ended up with a vintage schwinn that was hot off the back of some truck from the couve. I hated it, but it was cheap and easily spray painted into a ridiculous ride. Although functional for riding about town, it most certianly is not the ideal commuting bike. Mostly because it is a total tank, and heavier than tammy faye's makeup. So I procured a puprple mountain's majesty peugeot from the awesome guys at Better Cycle. It's a fabulously swift ride and I'm totally stoked to sport it to work.

I have been fortunate enough to get a visit from my dad, he just left on Sunday. It was a great time to hang out and go on mini adventures to the beach, the rose garden and many of my favorite haunts (Toro Bravo, Andina, Costellos, Masu East, etc). I miss my family a lot, and although I need to figure myself out away from home, it is so amazing to spend time with people who have such unconditional love for you. I am a lucky girl!

I also just finished my first day of orientation at Legacy- I will be working in the KERN ICU at Good Samaritan. I am totally atingle to discover that they have paid time off to volunteer or participate in community improvement programs. I have been really discouraged with healthcare in America, and this tiny little incentive has just given me a newfound sprightliness for trudging on in my dedication to better healthcare. I can tell you one thing, I will not miss the hell of highway 26 every morning on my way home from St. V's. Thank all good things for being able to part ways with the dreadful morning commute home when I could barely keep my eyes open. Don't let the picture of the glorious sunshine coming up over downtown fool you, it's not very thrilling at all. My emotions are captured while in traffic below. Yay.

I am also working on revamping the apartment in preparation for living completely alone, since I am in the process of finding Abe a new home so he has a better life. I will have updates on this sometime in the near future. An eggplant colored couch is my muse for creating an inviting haven that I actually look forward to retreating to after a long day at work. More pictures to come...

Farewell my black balloon

Oh my, oh my. So many changes in a girls life! This summer has turned my world upside-down. I have acquired three new hair colors, a new tattoo, a new pad, endured heartache that nearly consumed me, developed a new social group, embraced a new lifestyle and different form of transportation, and on September 22nd, I will have a new job.

I started out the summer in a funk. Trying to pick up the pieces of my life was not something I looked forward to each afternoon getting out of bed, so sometimes I just stayed there. Going out on the town every night lost it's luster all too quickly and I was left wallowing with the reality of things in an empty home. My belongings have remained in boxes far too long as if moving them in was synonymous with finalizing the goodbye to the way things use to be.

I was so contented to be able to mend my friendship with Tim. It was so revivifying to be in his company and I was elated to be able to do all the things we used to love bonding over. There is something to say for the comfort of someone who knows you in and out, someone who can assess your entire state of being with a simple glance.

This sense of fulfillment quickly vanished as I watched him driving away in the Aspen with the powder blue strip glowing in the sun. I followed him, tears streaming down my face. He was really leaving. I wanted so badly to follow him until he stopped at his destination, but we both knew that I couldn't . Passing him, I watched in the rear view until he blurred into the distance.

I frequently slip into a state of panic, and forget how to breathe when I realize how different my life is than it was just a few short months ago. You know the old saying, if you love someone you have to let them go, well I am not so convinced. I am so terrified that I have lost something that meant so much to me, and I will never procure anything like it again. I want to be able to ride my bike around with him, I want to go out to Sauvie Island and make jam, make green curry, and foolishly try to keep up with him on a run. I want to go to the beach and wander around aimlessly downtown. I want to try on ridiculous outfits and model them around the store to the great amusement of sales personnel. I have been so desolate with the understanding that these things have left my life for the next two years, and quite possibly eternity. It seems unbearable sometimes, but that is life.

It seems so easy to be consumed by sorrow, become lost in it forever, and lose the ability to appreciate life in all it's glory, or appreciate it at all. I feel like I have had a black balloon tied to my wrist, casting a shadow on everything that lays on the path before me. It has taken me all too long to realize it's presence, and even longer for me to be willing to disband with the aberrant sense of security it has consigned.

Today marked my valediction to it's persistent doom as I cut the string and watched it float away, susceptible to whatever weather it encounters. A subtle smile pulls at the muscles in my cheeks knowing I no longer bare it's ball and chain. Life is, after all, too short not to embrace the next adventure, tackle the next obstacle, experience the unknown, or even to bring yourself back from the devastation of the next heartache.