So, I am apparently not one for blogging since I have not even logged onto this blasted site since November. I have been contemplating the whole concept of blogging. It is a super fabulous tool for people who have an audience, a following, or a customer base. And there are a select few persons out there who really kick ass at it (take Little Red Bike for instance). I followed some vegan blogs pretty religiously for quite some time to stay on my health path, connect, get recipes, etc. It has it's purpose for sure. I attempted to continue the circle, post recipes and share motivation for like-minded food lovers looking for some vegan love. I guess I don't need to state that I failed, and pretty miserably at that.

You see, I have no such purpose, no such audience. For a while I thought, who the hell do I think I am? No one in the whole world is so interested in me, in my life, in what I have to say, to check up on what random thoughts I may have posted on the internets. Then I thought, Hey! What does blogging do for me? (Yes, I am that selfish.) Does it make me feel more connected? Most certainly not! Personal blogging gives people a way to check up on me without having to pick up the phone, an excuse to isolate one another even more in our modern world. I understand this could be seen as a plus to some, like hermit crabs or people who like to spy on people they know. I suppose that is what Facebook is for, and I am admittedly hooked, so I'm just a hypocrite.

Basically, what I am saying is that this is my last blog. I know you are all shedding tears over this devastating piece of information, but I have to do something a little more validating in my life right now.

You may be asking yourself why I even bothered to write this out at 2am on a Thursday morning. Why can't I just disappear into the abyss like any other normal blog quitter? Good question, and for anyone who has gotten this far along in this rambling post- wow. Nonetheless, here's the answer (bare with me here). When people fall, they have the choice to go down with flailing arms, kicking screaming, creating utter chaos around them and eventually drowning in a pool of panic and destructive behavior. Or, they can fall gracefully (as much as is humanly possible) and glide along until they find the strength to get back up and fight their battle on two feet.

We all fall (so I am told), we all even sink sometimes. But I think it's all about surrendering. Because you can't let go and move on without surrendering to whatever it is that defeated you. You have to acknowledge that you are on your ass in order to be willing to stand back up.

Don't think for one little second that this means I have run out of things to say, run out of meaningful thoughts, have run out of crazy accounts of the experiences I have in life. These things will not cease until my soul has left my weary shell. But they will not be shared here, will not be given over to the void of passer-byers, or more so the lack thereof.

So now you are probably saying who the hell cares? Right. Well, I am making an effort in the life to acknowledge things that hold meaning in my life, or the things that have meant a great deal to me in the past. Essentially I am hell bent on finishing what I started. Even if finishing means saying goodbye. It's the goodbyes that I have never been good at. So why not start in a place not so dear to my heart, one with little (no) audience right?

After being attacked by some heroin addict whack-a-do for saving his brother's life, and losing the best friend I have ever had all in a matter of a few days, I have decided that I clearly need to redirect my karma or I won't survive the spring. And I am really looking forward to a Portland summer. So, don't be surprised if you get some unexpected visit, note/mystery box, or phone call. It's just me, keeping up in finishing what I start. Whether it be a long deserved thank you, a reminder how important you are in my life, or even an official goodbye (as this one is supposed to be).

Cheers to all. May all of your wildest dreams come true!

semi-sweet bliss

It has been absolutely frigid in my apartment lately. Not to mention incredibly lonely without Abe's presence. I have been biking over to good old Jim and Patty's for their fabulous 12oz Girl Power (a special matcha green tea soy latte) for a feel-good imbibe. But, they tragically close at 4pm. Being a night-shifter, this just does not work for me on frequent occasions. Other days I just don't feel like getting geared up to go out of the house. I have found a delightful remedy for such days, one that allows me to stay at home in my cozy booties and warm up from the inside out! Here is my new favorite hot chocolate recipe:

Vanilla, Cardimom, and Cinnamon Infused Hot Chocolate


40 oz of milk of your choice ( I use rice milk)
1-2 cinnamon sticks depending on how much you like cinnamon
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
4 whole cardimom seeds
1 cup chocolate chips of choice (I use vegan semi-sweet)

Heat milk, cinnamon sticks, vanilla, and cardimom seeds in saucepan over medium heat. When mixture begins to boil, reduce heat and stir in chocolate chips. Stir continuously until the chocolate is all melted. Discard the cardimom seeds and cinnamon stick, froth mixture and pour into mugs. Enjoy chocolatiers!

It's official

I have been vegan for a month. Successfully. In celebration, here is my new favorite salad. One that balances the fall fruits and spices of the season ever so deliciously. I finally found a good use for persimmons! Cheers!



Autumnal Arugula Salad...
complete with Fuyu persimmon, caramelized Red Bartlet pears, pomegranate seeds, and cinnamon and chilli roasted hazelnuts. All tossed in a lemon-honey dijon dressing. Goat cheese crumbles would be a perfect addition to this salad for all you dairy loving dames or dudes.

P.S.- Suzanne's Just Like Honey Rice Nectar rocks my world. I used it in the salad dressing (among many other things).

Barack of Love

Happy Election Day! If you haven't already... go vote bitches!

sweet tooth

I am becoming quite domestic as of late, scary stuff. Anyhow, I have been having a really bad sweet tooth. I could always reach for the Coconut Bliss ice cream, but I was feeling the need to experiment and create. I ended up concocting an almond cake with olive oil and an Asian pear topping with drizzled "caramel". Here's the recipe for anyone who is interested. Not too shabby for my first attempt at vegan cake.

Almond Cake with Olive Oil

*3 cups whole wheat flour
*1/3 cup olive oil
*1 cup vanilla rice milk
*1 T baking powder
*3/4 t salt
* 1 t almond extract
* 1 T vanilla extract
*1 & 1/3 cup unbleached cane sugar

Blend ingredients together in a bowl, pour into a greased 9x9 pan, and bake for 22-25 minutes at 350. To make the carmel drizzle, heat 1/4 cup vegan margarine, 2 T brown sugar, and 1/4 cup real maple syrup on low until the sugar melts completely and then bring to boil for one minute , then remove from heat. Enjoy!

Make new friends, and recycle the old...

In regards to i-pods of course! My nano died today. I am devastated. Before I go procure a new one, I would like to take a moment and give thanks to all that my nannner has done for me. It kept me company on my bike rides, it motivated me on runs and at the gym, it allowed me to sing along in the shower, it helped me cope with my emotions and times of heartache with emo tunes, it enabled me to ignore annoyances while on public transit... so thank you Crimson, for all the good times.

Update as of 11-03-2008: I have already acquired a new i-pod. I know, it seems too quick to move on, but my new nano and I are fast friends. He matches my Puegot almost perfectly. A nice little perk for those of you in the market: if you bring in your old i-pod to be recycled, the apple store will give you a 10% discount on your new one.

All'a that

Oh yes, this post is dedicated to all my fellow bootylicious gals.

My evening started out nicely with a relaxing couple hours of arts and crafts. Then my pal Crystal called and we dilly dallied around town until ending up at a local pub. Crystal and I were up at the bar, sharing the weeks nursing horror stories and generally minding our own business. Out of nowhere, there is this unfamiliar voice in my ear asking if I'm really a nurse. I turn to find a gangster type inches away from my face. "That depends" I reply "Are you having some sort of emergency that requires medical attention?" Said thug, shakes his head no, laughing. "Well then, yes, I am a nurse." I didn't even care to ask what prompted such a question, I don't encourage eaves dropping by strange men. That, however, didn't matter. The interaction continued to my great dismay. "Daaaammn girl," accompanied by some serious elevator eyes "how do you fit all'a that into your nurses uniform?"

What!?! Tears started welling up, and I proceeded to inform this stranger that nurses wear scrubs, scrubs that go up to size morbidly obese. The tears were now streaming, "as a matter of fact, I could fit my entire body into the leg of some of the scrubs bottoms stocked on the unit." He started back tracking, shaking his head violently "No, no, no, no, that is a compliment woman!" said the gangster. I stared at him blankly. How the hell any woman takes a man doubting her ability to fit into any outfit (especially scrubs) as a compliment, is truly beyond my comprehension.

In spirit of having a J-Lo ass, I am making "All'a that Soup" for dinner. It mostly consists of vegetable broth, navy beans, veggies galore, and a wee bit of vegan sausage. Clearly I need to lose a few pounds of my "juice" as my friend Brian lovingly calls it, and hopefully this soup will ward off further inquiries as to how I get "all'a that" squeezed into my work attire. I leave you with the pictures detailing my soup creation, as I am headed out for a run with Abe.